
Preparing Your Child for Your Divorce
Guidance from an Experienced Lawyer
Talking to your children about divorce may be the most difficult part of ending your marriage. If you've reached the conclusion that divorce is the best option for your future and the future of your family, you may have to deal with the difficult process of preparing your child for divorce. No two children are alike, so each child will react differently to the changes that your family will face. However, the age of your children and other factors can help you be prepared to talk to them.
Telling Your Kids: What to Expect
Generally speaking, children are afraid that they will lose their parents if they divorce. When you tell your children that you and your spouse have decided to go your separate ways, make sure that they understand that you and your spouse will still spend time with them. Each child must understand this – explain it with your words and show them with your actions. Then, follow through with your promise. If you don't, you children may question you honesty, reliability and affection. However, you can maintain a stable relationship with your children if you continue to spend time with them.
Make a Plan and Stick to It
Ideally, you and your spouse should tell your children about your divorce together. If not, make sure that you and your spouse are in agreement about what will be said to the children. If you explain the divorce in one way and your spouse explains it differently, you children may sense this division and become confused. If you and your spouse plan on talking about the divorce separately with your children, make sure that your stories are straight. If you don't know what to say to your kids, talk to a religious advisor, counselor or schedule a time to speak with a mental health professional. These individual can help you prepare to speak with your children.
Every divorce is different. Although many divorces are relatively peaceful, others may be extremely volatile. If you and your spouse are in disagreement about your divorce, you will probably have separate conversations about it with your children. Try to reach an agreement about what you will say to your children. These conversations can be emotionally charged, frustrating and stressful, but it is important that your children understand that they will not be abandoned once your marriage is officially terminated. Hearing different stories from each parent may confuse your children and will send them conflicting messages about the divorce and the way that it will affect them.
What Not to Do
Even if your divorce is not peaceful, try to put aside any animosity you feel towards your spouse when you talk to your children. Avoid blaming your spouse for the divorce. Before you speak with your children, make sure that you and your spouse both agree to avoid blaming each other for the separation. Even though you will not be married, you children need to understand that you and your spouse can still function as parents. Your children may be afraid that they will lose their family; reassure them that this is not true. They will still have a family but it will be a different.
Work with Jason K.S. Porter, P.A. Pick Porter!™
If you've decided that filing for divorce is the best option for you and your family, talk to a family law attorney from Jason K.S. Porter, PA today. At the firm, we are dedicated to helping families through the tedious legal proceedings during the divorce process. We can help you resolve issues related to child custody, spousal support, and asset division.
Contact us today to see what an attorney from our firm can do for you.
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Two very scary DUI cases in my life. The first involved a wreck, the second with a very high BAC. Jason Porter and Gary Shumard, you are both so very amazing and you have saved me so much havoc on these cases. Reduced to reckless on the first, and on the second, saved me from having the interlock system order in my car, another 10 days of immobilization, and more jail time. From the beginning, these two kept my anxieties calm through this process and the outcomes took all that load off. If you are financially strapped, trust me, they will work with you on that too. Sincerely.- Gale B.
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Just wanted to say thank you to Attorney Carlucci and paralegal Ms. Rasulova. They were very kind and extremely knowledgeable AND patient. Hopefully I will not need an Attorney in the future, BUT if I do it will be Pick Porter.- M
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There are times when you may need unforeseen legal assistance and your scared and don't have a clue if youre making the right choice. The decision is not an easy one when it's based on your family and life. You worry if they have your best interest at heart, if they know enough, if they know the right people and it's very emotional & confusing. Ten years ago my family was faced with the worst nightmare any mother could ever imagine & I prayed to God to make the right decision and I did. Meeting Jason Porter & his assistant Darlene C. (she's been with him longer than that), was the best in my life in my family's life. Jason doesn't have a big office turn around, in fact I have watched his office grow to the success it is today. His staff stays because they know they are with a terrific guy & great attorney. I can go on and on and mean every word from the bottom of my heart but the are truly no words to describe the great outcomes he has had for 2 of my sons on separate occasions. Unfortunately, we don't live in a society anymore where "boys will be boys". There are way too many laws and not enough of societal morality (due to a change of the times). Boys may get in trouble, they did get in trouble but with their unfortunate choices, my choice was the better in retaining Jason and his law firm. He is our family attorney forever.- Anonymous
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I unfortunately experienced a terrible accident and was hurt. I reached out to Jason Porter’s law firm, as he has helped my father in the past and is a trusted attorney in my family.
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"Bad things happen to good families and people” That is one of the first things Jason said to me and my son. The laws are set to protect us. However, the law can be black and white when there are several shades of grey. If a man has a beer in his own house after coming back from war but is only 20, should his dad be charged for contributing to the delinquency of a minor? Have you ever done something now looking back, it may not have been the best decision but nothing happened? That was not the case a few years ago to my family. A bad decision, one I am sure many of us have done in our younger days. A bad decision was made and it could have ruined a young man’s future. The courts are busy and things can fall through the cracks; I was making sure my son was not one of them. I knew Jason had worked for the District attorney’s office so he knew both sides of the law. He knew what the other side was going to do and say because he was there for many years. He prepared our family through each and every step. He made sure that we were proactive “getting ducks in a row” so to speak. If there was something mentioned, we had already taken care of it and showed no history and really no where for the other side to go. What could have been jail time ended up being a bump in the road. No one can promise anything is a sure thing. Jason did not make any promises he was not prepared to keep. He told us what normally happens, and what he was going to try for and he did. I rather have someone say there is a 70/30 chance than, “sure this is no problem, don’t worry about it”. We do worry about it. It is our lives or one of someone we love. Some cases may not be life or death, but they all are between a life that could be and a life that never will be. Jason understands that and approached it as if was his brother standing next to him. Every now and then, I will look at my son when eating dinner or something and think, if it was not for Jason and his group, I would have to visit my son to see him. I thanked God for Jason being there then, and have every day since.
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I met Jason 13 years ago in a case I had. He wasn't my first choice of lawyer originally. Our original lawyer was unable to perform the task needed at the time. Jason took our case over and worked his magic in the courtroom. People, the is no substitute for a court case. This firm is head and shoulders above anyone. If you want to go generic with your cereal that's fine. You can buy Fruit Rings instead of Froot Loops. But when choosing an attorney and your life is on the line, go with this firm. You get what you pay for. And by Picking Porter, you get so much more. Since then my entire family has used this firm for random cases. All of which we have prevailed. Most recently, Chris Craun family law attorney has helped us win yet another case. His outstanding outlook and attention to the details and knowledge of the law was the difference. Chris comes from this same tree. They know people and the law. Do not mess up by acquiring sub-par representation. You should pick Porter before your counterpart does!!!- Ken O.
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