Preparing Your Child for Divorce Serving Families Throughout Jacksonville For Over 25 Years

Preparing Your Child for Your Divorce

Guidance from an Experienced Lawyer

Talking to your children about divorce may be the most difficult part of ending your marriage. If you've reached the conclusion that divorce is the best option for your future and the future of your family, you may have to deal with the difficult process of preparing your child for divorce. No two children are alike, so each child will react differently to the changes that your family will face. However, the age of your children and other factors can help you be prepared to talk to them.

Telling Your Kids: What to Expect

Generally speaking, children are afraid that they will lose their parents if they divorce. When you tell your children that you and your spouse have decided to go your separate ways, make sure that they understand that you and your spouse will still spend time with them. Each child must understand this – explain it with your words and show them with your actions. Then, follow through with your promise. If you don't, you children may question you honesty, reliability and affection. However, you can maintain a stable relationship with your children if you continue to spend time with them.

Make a Plan and Stick to It

Ideally, you and your spouse should tell your children about your divorce together. If not, make sure that you and your spouse are in agreement about what will be said to the children. If you explain the divorce in one way and your spouse explains it differently, you children may sense this division and become confused. If you and your spouse plan on talking about the divorce separately with your children, make sure that your stories are straight. If you don't know what to say to your kids, talk to a religious advisor, counselor or schedule a time to speak with a mental health professional. These individual can help you prepare to speak with your children.

Every divorce is different. Although many divorces are relatively peaceful, others may be extremely volatile. If you and your spouse are in disagreement about your divorce, you will probably have separate conversations about it with your children. Try to reach an agreement about what you will say to your children. These conversations can be emotionally charged, frustrating and stressful, but it is important that your children understand that they will not be abandoned once your marriage is officially terminated. Hearing different stories from each parent may confuse your children and will send them conflicting messages about the divorce and the way that it will affect them.

What Not to Do

Even if your divorce is not peaceful, try to put aside any animosity you feel towards your spouse when you talk to your children. Avoid blaming your spouse for the divorce. Before you speak with your children, make sure that you and your spouse both agree to avoid blaming each other for the separation. Even though you will not be married, you children need to understand that you and your spouse can still function as parents. Your children may be afraid that they will lose their family; reassure them that this is not true. They will still have a family but it will be a different.

During the Conversation

When you tell your children that you and your spouse are getting a divorce, make sure that you are completely honest and realistic with your children. Young children may not need to know the details behind your marital problems, but they do need to know how your separation will affect their lives. Make sure that each child understands that their lives will be different after the divorce. If you tell them that everything will feel the same, they may have difficulty trusting you in the future. Avoid making promises that you can't realistically keep.

Additionally, try not to become upset or emotional while you talk to your children. Children are easy to frighten; watching a parent become hysterical, angry or upset can make them anxious. Instead, avoid emotion and speak calmly. If you become angry or dramatic during the conversation, your children may become more involved in your emotions and fail to reveal their own feelings.

Also, it is imperative that your children understand that the divorce is not their fault. Verbally tell your children that you and your spouse do not blame them for the separation. If your children do not understand this, they may assume that they caused your divorce and feel unnecessary guilt.

After Talking to Your Children

Your children may have difficulty understanding divorce. If so, you may want to involve a school counselor, social worker, relative or mental health professional. Speaking with a knowledgeable third party can help you children become more comfortable with the idea of the divorce. Additionally, make sure that your child's teachers, parents of close friends and babysitters know about your divorce.

Continue Reading Read Less

Work with Problems? Pick Porter!™

If you've decided that filing for divorce is the best option for you and your family, talk to a family law attorney from Problems? Pick Porter!™ today. At the firm, we are dedicated to helping families through the tedious legal proceedings during the divorce process. We can help you resolve issues related to child custody, spousal support, and asset division.

Contact us today to see what an attorney from our firm can do for you.

A Guided, Hands-On Approach
Step-by-Step Guidance for Any Legal Matter
A Compassionate Team
Your Story Matters - We're Here to Listen
Extensive Experience
Approximately 100 Years of Combined Legal Experience On Your Side
Award-Winning Counsel
Top-Rated Ethics & Legal Skill – AV Preeminent® Rating
Trusted & Recommended
Trusted by the Media & Recommended by Our Clients
Top-Rated Attorneys
Top-Rated Personal Injury, DUI, & Criminal Defense Lawyer

Hear From Our Happy Clients

Serving Jacksonville, FL Since 2004

"He is an awesome and very genuine guy."
I had the pleasure of working with Attorney Jonathan D.Thacher! He is an awesome and very genuine guy. Thanks again, Law Offices of Jason K.S. Porter!

- A.J.
"Jonathan made us feel comfortable and confident that he would work diligently on our behalf."
The purpose of this letter is to express our appreciation for Jonathan Thacher's legal services associated with our daughter's case. Jonathan was and is always available for questions. If we left a message, he would always get back to us in a prompt fashion. It isn't easy to find such a capable lawyer who seems to be in the right job. He is caring and very attentive to us. No questions went unanswered. Jonathan made us feel comfortable and confident that he would work diligently on our behalf. In the end, we felt blessed that we had the right person to help us when we felt lost. I can't tell you how important it is to choose the right lawyers for your case. He certainly lifted a weight off our shoulder to know that Jonathan and the firm's staff were working for us and a good conclusion to our problem.

- Edward & Sondra A.
"Thank you guys for a job well done."
Very attentive to the needs of my case. This firm was prompt and on point with the affairs surrounding my case and paid attention to the special details. Overall, I received the results I was hoping for and expecting. Thank you guys for a job well done.

- James M.
"When needed, you answered my questions clearly and politely."
The purpose of this letter is to compliment your law office and its associates on its excellent service. When needed, you answered my questions clearly and politely, offered recommendations, and worked expediently to ensure that all possible aspects of my case have been covered and researched.

- Anonymous
"Jason is the most diligent attorney"
He went all out to help me and never gave up. I owe him all my thanks. He honestly cares and doesn't make you feel less than special.

- C.
"Highly recommend him if you need legal advice"
Mr. Porter is an excellent attorney. He helped me and my teenage son through a very difficult situation. He was right there immediately ensuring we had representation. He even called to follow up to ensure we were ok. He is very passionate about helping his clients. He also does not try to charge you if he knows you don’t have a case. He’s very honest and a great person. Highly recommend him if you need legal advice. Kelley

- K.H.
"Jason Porter excellent attorney"
Jason Porter is an excellent attorney. I'm very happy with the results. he saved me money and solved my problem.

- John P.
"Compassionate Caring and Honest"
I meet with Mr. Porter today, he was so helpful with my situation. He was kind and should true compassion for this situation. He gave me information I have not been able to get anywhere else and I have tried. He gave me hope that there is light at the end of this tunnel. I have a much better understanding of what I need to do and how to proceed with this situation. I am grateful that Mr. Porter gave me the time and attention that he did today. I would encourage anyone needing help in a criminal case, no matter how big or small go and see Mr. Porter, I can assure you that you will not be disappointed. Mr. Porter thank you for your time today and all of the information you provided me with, it is appreciated beyond belief.

- Rena P.

Read Reviews

Pick Porter!™ Today

A member of our team will be in touch shortly to confirm your contact details or address questions you may have.

*Motorcycle accident - $2,835,000
$1,502,500 Premises Liability - $1,502,500
Bodily Injury Claim
*Wrongful Death - $1,000,000
Settled *Estate of Fred Fedorka
Largest settlement ever against Volusia County.
*Medical Malpractice - $500,000

View All Results