Preparing Your Child for Your Divorce
Guidance from an Experienced Lawyer
Talking to your children about divorce may be the most difficult part of ending your marriage. If you've reached the conclusion that divorce is the best option for your future and the future of your family, you may have to deal with the difficult process of preparing your child for divorce. No two children are alike, so each child will react differently to the changes that your family will face. However, the age of your children and other factors can help you be prepared to talk to them.
Telling Your Kids: What to Expect
Generally speaking, children are afraid that they will lose their parents if they divorce. When you tell your children that you and your spouse have decided to go your separate ways, make sure that they understand that you and your spouse will still spend time with them. Each child must understand this – explain it with your words and show them with your actions. Then, follow through with your promise. If you don't, you children may question you honesty, reliability and affection. However, you can maintain a stable relationship with your children if you continue to spend time with them.
Make a Plan and Stick to It
Ideally, you and your spouse should tell your children about your divorce together. If not, make sure that you and your spouse are in agreement about what will be said to the children. If you explain the divorce in one way and your spouse explains it differently, you children may sense this division and become confused. If you and your spouse plan on talking about the divorce separately with your children, make sure that your stories are straight. If you don't know what to say to your kids, talk to a religious advisor, counselor or schedule a time to speak with a mental health professional. These individual can help you prepare to speak with your children.
Every divorce is different. Although many divorces are relatively peaceful, others may be extremely volatile. If you and your spouse are in disagreement about your divorce, you will probably have separate conversations about it with your children. Try to reach an agreement about what you will say to your children. These conversations can be emotionally charged, frustrating and stressful, but it is important that your children understand that they will not be abandoned once your marriage is officially terminated. Hearing different stories from each parent may confuse your children and will send them conflicting messages about the divorce and the way that it will affect them.
What Not to Do
Even if your divorce is not peaceful, try to put aside any animosity you feel towards your spouse when you talk to your children. Avoid blaming your spouse for the divorce. Before you speak with your children, make sure that you and your spouse both agree to avoid blaming each other for the separation. Even though you will not be married, you children need to understand that you and your spouse can still function as parents. Your children may be afraid that they will lose their family; reassure them that this is not true. They will still have a family but it will be a different.
Work with Jason K.S. Porter, P.A. Pick Porter!™
If you've decided that filing for divorce is the best option for you and your family, talk to a family law attorney from Jason K.S. Porter, PA today. At the firm, we are dedicated to helping families through the tedious legal proceedings during the divorce process. We can help you resolve issues related to child custody, spousal support, and asset division.
Contact us today to see what an attorney from our firm can do for you.
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One night I was awaken by a phone call that my son was in jail, I thought I was having a nightmare. I knew the charges were false but knew we faced a difficult road ahead to prove his innocence. The charges against him could have been enough to have caused him to lose his children, as well as his job and ruin any further career opportunities. He could have served time and had a felony on his record. . We were so lucky to find the law offices of Jason Porter. They came highly recommended and were rated high on the AVVO site. We were scheduled for an appointment the day we called and greeted openly but candidly with the facts of what could happen. He already had the police report and had a pretty good picture of what happen before we even opened our mouth. Jason put us at ease and explained how things would work and assured my son he would do his best to protect him and his good name and to get the charges dropped or reduced to the minimum he assured him he would not make him settle for something he did not do. He was not afraid to take it to trail if that’s what needed to happen. We felt good after hearing his trial record. Gary Shumard also in the office was involved in the day to day dealing of the court appearances and trying to keep it out of trial. He spoke for my son and there were several court appearances. My son was able to work and carry on his normal day because of Gary. During the six month process my son only had to attend one court appearance and that was only because the other side tried again to file additional fraudulent charges against him however, they were immediately dismissed thanks to Gary. In the end they wanted to drop the charges to a misdemeanor; but my son didn’t want anything on his record because he was not guilty! Gary had reviewed their evidence and my son’s evidence and in the end, after six months Gary was able to keep my son’s a record clean. Gary fought hard, gathering evidence and challenging the opposing side with professionalism and knowledge. I feel sure that due to his expertise we were able to avoid a long drawn out trail and more legal expenses. Gary works hard and is at the court house it seems almost every day working for his clients, he is a dedicated attorney with knowledge, and proficiency in handling the law he gathers evidence astutely and reviews both sides he has the ability to present his findings in a very comfortable but clever way. The day the findings came down I think he was almost as happy as we were. He had a right to be it’s like climbing a mountain and getting to the top you know you deserve the view. This law office is wonderful from the secretary who answers the phone, the legal assistants, and everyone in between. We trust this law firm and believe in them with any legal matter they we may have ever!! Richard & Diane Bornstein- Diane and Richard
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Jason and his firm came highly recommended by my family member. My son's case would have eventually ended up with negative consequences if not for Jonathan Thatcher. Jonathan was supportive, knowledgeable and kept us informed at all stages of the case. Great firm and appreciate all your hard work in the success of my son's case. I would use this firm again and again.- Kim J.
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I have worked with Mr. Lorimier and Ms. Adams and they are both phenomenal. They are professional, knowledgeable, and willing to work hard to get the job done. I highly recommend them both.- M.F.
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I'd been accused of something I did not do. My situation was a total nightmare. I consulted with Attorney Porter and he assured me that my tough situation could be handled. Attorney Gary Shumar tirelessly worked my case, while showing patience and empathy when I felt frustrated. Needless to say, my charges were dropped. I highly recommend this firm.- Nikki
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Mr. Porter is an excellent attorney. He helped me and my teenage son through a very difficult situation. He was right there immediately ensuring we had representation. He even called to follow up to ensure we were ok. He is very passionate about helping his clients. He also does not try to charge you if he knows you don’t have a case. He’s very honest and a great person. Highly recommend him if you need legal advice. Kelley- K.H.
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Over the past month or so I had made a call to the Law offices of Jason Porter because I needed to resolve an issue that occurred over 7 years ago. Once I explained the situation the secretary sent me directly to Jonathan Thacher. All I can say is that Thacher did an amazing job handling my case and I am extremely happy right now. I no longer have to worry about that problem ever again thanks to Thacher. The work was effective and everything went through perfectly. Thank you so much man you really took years of stress off my shoulder and I can finally have clarity in my mind.- Joshua S.
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I used them for a personal injury case. They were professional, attentive, and got me an acceptable settlement in a timely manner. This helped greatly to get me back on my feet financially. Thank you very much.- Jonathan E.
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100% success rate. I used Jason Porter's services two different times for a DUI charge. The first DUI case I never lost my license and he won the case. The second time it was a little more difficult because of the circumstances but we took it to trial and it seemed like an effortless victory. Jason and his staff were very professional and helpful through the entire process.I could not have asked for anything more. Thank you so much for everything.- Jeremy T.